Friday, May 31, 2013

So Close

Today is CD 1!!! I predicted my ovulation date accurately without ovulation predictor tools!! That is very exciting for me. 

I was supposed to call our clinic on CD 1, today, to schedule our iui, but instead I called to postpone everything in sake of the wedding, house, and work... Sour first iui will be between August and November.

I'm starting to feel sick to my stomach. I really wanted to get this crap over with. We don't know if this will even work and we have to wait to find out... 

Playing a woe-is-me symphony on the worlds smallest violin. The fact that we have things to try with terrific odds is Not a bad problem to have. So why do I feel so bummed?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Conflicted

We just got the green light from our Reproductive Endocrinologist to begin our treatments! Just this morning I felt as though it was taking ages for it to happen and I could have started treatment yesterday but now, now there are just more questions.

My cycle is scheduled to start any moment now so decisions are having to be made very soon. First off, I want to start our family more than anything else in the world and wish we would have started this process years ago.

Now our wedding is around the corner, only 4 blissful months away. So with the way they calculate pregnancy if we proceed with trying to conceive before the wedding we will be anywhere between 0 to 4 months pregnant on our wedding day. Which means I will then be 0-4 months pregnant in my wedding dress, the one I chose is NOT very forgiving in the tummy area. Petite women show later right? Haha I know.

Well it was brought to my attention that showing isn't my biggest worry what about the potential pregnancy symptoms?!! With all the stress and lack of sleep it's going to be difficult for whatever symptoms my body comes up with to be suppressed. I have a history of being the symptom queen so I am expecting pregnancy to be no different.

Uggh what a weird time for this all to happen! Four and a half years of trying to conceive and four months before the wedding that was planned over a year in advance is when we get our first green light... Now the ball is in our court, our indecisive and aggressive court.

Oh lord what are we going to do?

There is a good chance that June will be a no go since I have work training two weeks in a row that will leave me little time to go out to the clinic and even less opportunity to relax.

July, I'm traveling away for work so that's a random week in July that's just dead.

Then we have August. September and our wedding month of October.

What it's really coming down to is how much I want to spend my night at the wedding drinking my brains out. I really have no clue. I know if we do our IUI now vs doing our IUI three months from now the only difference is how we get to experience our wedding which we are seeing as our very last hoorah.

Oh decisions, decisions. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Letting the Sun In

So I have been doing better at letting people into our journey. My fiancĂ©'s best friend/ best man inquired about our baby making plans after the wedding. 

He phrased it "are you all going to wait a couple of weeks or months before you start trying to have your first kid?"

I took a deep breath and told him plainly "we found out this year that we probably won't be able to have children without a lot of medical help, so we will start trying for kids when we have the money to start seeing doctors." 

He apologized for our situation and that was that. Someone else knew that we're an infertile couple. 

My two babies! Kody & max

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Fortune Cookie... What are you saying??


August should be our first intrauterine insemination. All of our fingers are crossed! 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Found out today

I found out today that I am a carrier for 

alpha thalassemia :-(, I am almost immune to chicken pox I am 1.04 the immune level is 1.09, and my TSH was lower than normal