Thursday, May 30, 2013

Conflicted

We just got the green light from our Reproductive Endocrinologist to begin our treatments! Just this morning I felt as though it was taking ages for it to happen and I could have started treatment yesterday but now, now there are just more questions.

My cycle is scheduled to start any moment now so decisions are having to be made very soon. First off, I want to start our family more than anything else in the world and wish we would have started this process years ago.

Now our wedding is around the corner, only 4 blissful months away. So with the way they calculate pregnancy if we proceed with trying to conceive before the wedding we will be anywhere between 0 to 4 months pregnant on our wedding day. Which means I will then be 0-4 months pregnant in my wedding dress, the one I chose is NOT very forgiving in the tummy area. Petite women show later right? Haha I know.

Well it was brought to my attention that showing isn't my biggest worry what about the potential pregnancy symptoms?!! With all the stress and lack of sleep it's going to be difficult for whatever symptoms my body comes up with to be suppressed. I have a history of being the symptom queen so I am expecting pregnancy to be no different.

Uggh what a weird time for this all to happen! Four and a half years of trying to conceive and four months before the wedding that was planned over a year in advance is when we get our first green light... Now the ball is in our court, our indecisive and aggressive court.

Oh lord what are we going to do?

There is a good chance that June will be a no go since I have work training two weeks in a row that will leave me little time to go out to the clinic and even less opportunity to relax.

July, I'm traveling away for work so that's a random week in July that's just dead.

Then we have August. September and our wedding month of October.

What it's really coming down to is how much I want to spend my night at the wedding drinking my brains out. I really have no clue. I know if we do our IUI now vs doing our IUI three months from now the only difference is how we get to experience our wedding which we are seeing as our very last hoorah.

Oh decisions, decisions. 

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