Saturday, August 17, 2013

A Case of the Mondays

I have spent the past five years trying to conceive. I have spent the past 25% of my life failing at becoming a mother. I have spent a quarter of my time on earth anticipating being a mother at any moment Today I failed another pregnancy test. And I'm overwhelmed with sadness. I am sad that this is the norm for me. My entire adult life my normal is failing to get pregnant while my fertile family and friends do it on whims most of which are accidental. Today does not feel like a good day. Today is when I realized that I have never succeeded so what makes me think for a second that I ever will?

1 comment:

  1. I've spent all of my adult life ttc too, and it's been over 2/5 of my total life. Any day now, children who were conceived after we began TTC over fourteen and a half years ago could start having their own babies. I have days like this when the weight of all that time really presses down on me.