My Progression into Infertility and Beyond
Day One : October 3rd 2008We're just going to stop all forms of birth control and let things just happen. We'll probably get pregnant in a month or two but whatever. Whose rushing? We have a whole life to live lets just what will happen naturally happen in it's own time!!
Month 2Well, we weren't expecting it to work the first time. Onwards and upwards!
Month 3Well, this happens sometimes to couples. Third times the charm! But we're not trying just not preventing pregnancy. This month we started openly discussing eloping as soon as we got our pregnancy confirmed! So we're not engaged we just have a plan to seal our family once it starts! Wow, Soon!!
Month 7Babe, I think there's something's wrong. What should we do? Lets just wait and see we're not infertile until 12 months.
Month 11I'm going to set up an appointment with my GYN.
Month 12 October 2009Dr. OB/GYN- So how long have you been trying for
Me- We got off Birth Control 12 months ago but we aren't trying
Dr. OB/GYN- If you're trying I can give you Clomid. And you're young and healthy you'll probably get pregnant right away.
Me - I just want to fix what's wrong.
Dr. OB/GYN - We can get you pregnant if that's what you want. There's not point in testing if we can get you pregnant.
I want to see another GYN
1.5 YearsAt New OB/GYN
1 Year 8 Months (My Birthday 2010)Uggh, I don't even want to be pregnant! Who wants to do that? This is probably for the best! Look at how much stuff we can do with out a kid!
Year 2 - 2010-2011
|Actual letter he kept <3|
I run away to work for Disney World for 6 months. I'm trying to get over the baby envy I've developed. Here I don't cry myself to sleep. I spend EVERY morning and evening at the gym and all day at work. I'm still a good person, I'm going to do everything we can to get healthier. I'm so fit!!
I return, Lets actually get a dog.
Brought Kody home July 2010
Year 2.5 (April 2011)*Start opening up to friends/family about potentially having a problem*
Responses: "YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE PROBLEMS!
|Unsolicited advice hurts more than it helps|
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR!
YOU DON'T WANT KIDS NOW RELAX, HAVE FUN, ENJOY BEING YOUNG.
GOD HAS A PLAN!
THESE THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON!
DIDN'T THE DR. SAY YOU WERE FINE? THEN YOU'RE FINE!
** Reassurance NOT accepted**
Finally Purchased the OVAGRAPH BUNDLE. It's very accurate.
Year 3 - The Darkest Year October 2011-2012
- Self-hate, blaming myself. I probably needed to see someone more professionally. I stop seeing myself as worthy of my accomplishments. I hate that I spent so much time in school for nothing! (I'm in school exclusively so that my children have a good life)
|Everyday I suffer is another testament of my love for you.|
- I flunked my first set of classes.
- I read somewhere that when trying to conceive you should take it easy to not stress your body out. I gain 40lbs this year.
- I'm desperately looking for answers online. I join two online communities. BabyZone and FertilityFriend.
- Garr doesn't call what we're doing actually trying since we aren't talking to doctors anymore... That's his way of being encouraging.
Year 4 2012-2013I have a chemical pregnancy. Spring 2012. We get engaged and set our wedding day for a year and a half in the future. By making it inconvenient to conceive, maybe this will help us conceive an keep it!
GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE!!
We go through 4 more ob/gyns who all sing the same song but agreed to do testing. We're much more confident when we speak to doctors now. Each one does a test that the others didn't. We get testing done, nothing . I'm diagnosed with potential PCOS.
|Trying to Conceive PRIDE!!|
We finally see our first RE. He's fantastic! He does a whole range of tests including genetic.
We start Garr on Fertiliaid for Men. To this day I have only bought four bottles
Garr does his first complete semen analysis. The RESULTS have me a little POed. This whole time I was working my butt of to conceive.
Year 5 2013We finally find an RE who takes us seriously. We do tests on Garr too. Surprise SEVERE Male Factor infertility. I DO NOT TAKE THIS WELL. He didn't think it was him but now that it is he seems to understand our infertility to be more real.
One of my girlfriends abandoned her dog for a poor excuse for a man she just met... So lets all give a warm welcome to our second dog MAX!
I finally go to a RESOLVE support meeting. Game Changer
After listening to everyone's experiences with various REs in the area I decide to switch REs.
This new one Dr. U is a keeper. She's the first doctor to be knowledgeable of our medical records before we sat down with her, she's the first one that didn't dismiss our concerns because we were younger, she's the first one to pull out all of our medical records and go over each and everyone of our results.
|I'm finding my strength again.|
I still have depression. I refuse to take medication for it since what I have isn't the disease version which means I can get better. But at least now there is light, there is hope, I experience happiness. I can look at my friends baby and not be filled with self-pitty and hate. I can look in the mirror and say "you're worth the smile you're wearing." That, that's a good feeling. I'm feeling good.
The next cycle we have will be our first IUI. October 2013 <3
TOO Serious... Lets look at pictures of my dogs :-) You'll feel better too! Aww Pups!