Wednesday Night: we meet our friends at the bar to pre-celebrate our girlfriends 21st birthday. We both got excessively hydrated on glasses of water while our friends took shots and drunkenly told us the most inappropriate dinner stories. At 10:10pm we excused ourselves and went to our car. It was chilly out but my makeshift fridge made of two ice packs and two gallon sized freezer bag was there to guarantee our ovadril stayed as close to 34 degrees as possible. As I lay in the backseat of my car in the parking lot of our favorite hole in the wall bar where I've spent many nights getting well passed socially acceptable public drinking, I ponder if the people walking by realize that this syringe my husband holds is hope, a prescription and not street drugs. My husband did a great job I watched the entire time. He moved slowly and smoothly then proceeded to inject the very chilly contents into my lower abdomen for a 10 second duration. Then it's back to the bar to finish out the night.
Thursday: no side effects except some extreme ovulation cramps on my right side. I'm very gassy. BLOATED beyond belief. I'm very thirsty. I'm bloated. I have a slight headache hardly worth mentioning. I get minimal sleep tonight awaiting our iui in the morning.
Friday: Bloated. I smell everything. cramps!!! It's hurting. Right-side focused today is the day. I treat my man to Waffle House before his 9:00am appointment. He's happy, he's nervous one hour until my appointment. I'm scared and nervous. We find out that dispute the low volume this was the best, potentially healthiest sample he has ever given. 4 million semen post wash 100% alive, well-shaped, with fantastic mobility. Our nurse patiently spoke with us as long as we had questions and slowly walked us through what was going to happen, what happened, and our post insemination care. She did everything with great care and moved very slowly. I didn't feel a pinch of pain as I lay inverted receiving my husbands sperm via catheter. Our nurse informed us that the insemination went perfectly and allowed us 20 minutes to relax, and lay inverted. She dimmed the lights and put on soft spa music.
Four hours later it hit me like a bus in a hurry, the most intense abdominal cramps ever. My obliques were super sore as well. It hurt to use my muscles to role over, stretch, pee, laugh, sneeze... Fetal position with a pillow between my legs was my happy place. Longest day ever. Oh and I'm MUCH more bloated than I was yesterday... awesome
Saturday: those hell cramps get better the more I sleep and the more I drink water. So, I slept most of my day away and successfully through the night. Cramps have reduced to a pressure which helps me sleep even longer hours. And I can detect what people have been eating 5+ feet away. The bloat continues. You can SEE my stomach protruding through my coat!! Usually a little wiggly but flat stomach is not protruding through my coat... wtf.
Sunday: pressure is still present. Bloat is still present. No more muscle pain. I have convinced myself that we have succeeded. I'm probably pregnant, maybe with triplets. I spent my morning creating pregnancy announcement graphics to sen to my family when we get our positive pregnancy test on the 8th. I theatrically gagged at the smell of someone who smoked a few hours earlier. My bad.