Monday, January 27, 2014

The disgrace of infertility

This blog post is worth sharing with friends. Initially as I came out about our infertility to family friends and strangers I thought that I'd inform people of the process of ttc with artificial reproductive technologies. That's not how they can help. They'll never understand what it's like from protecting your private parts your whole life to dropping trou at any point for every doctor to stick a probe in your lady business and only to tell you thing you already knew. No, they just hear "vaginal ultrasound" and it's as real to them as dancing unicorns. I realized that it's more important for them to understand what we are, their neighbor, their distant relative, their sister, their silent friend is going though. That's where they can help, that's were they can learn and grow, and raise awearness.

So I share with you this article :) enjoy and pass it on.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

12 DPO - testing tomorrow

Waiting. I need AF to arrive before I book my plane ticket to New York City. 2-3 days until she's due... This is always the tensest part of my cycle.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


8DPO... Ugggh. 6 dreadful days to go
Will next week happen yet? My mother is taking me to NY to enroll me in a free ivm clinical trial at Neway Fertility Clinic February 3rd. At least we have that to look forward to :)

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I guess it's true

My ovacue indicated that I have ovulated somewhere between Sunday and Monday afternoon... Since then I haven't felt a single cramp from my ovaries so I glad to rule out the idea that it could have been a cyst. Here's to hoping that this cycle ends in a glorious BFP. I'd love an October baby!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Fingers crossed

Crossing our fingers that we actually ovulated this morning!! We dtd Sunday afternoon, the day before expected ovulation, in hope that the whole team makes it up there in time for kick off ;-)


Woah, two weeks I'll be announcing our pregnancy to our families ;-)

I have decided a long time ago that our family will know how pregnant we are within the hours of us finding out! Why keep it a secret? If the unthinkable happens then I have all of our family there to hold us together. For us, being in this journey so long we need all of the support that we can get for every step of the way.


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

2014... Off to a rough start

Instead of 2014 bringing us a child my husband insists that we shouldn't. Money is tight, and bills have gotten out of control... Instead of doing IUIs we're on clomid starting next cycle... The RE gave us very slim odds of it working so she is only letting us do it for 2 cycles...

My husband can't make up his mind (and I wish he would before I ovulate). As soon as he tells me he doesn't want to try he whisks me away to the pharmacy to pick up our next prescription of clomid... Communication is a little off right now or else I'm missing the boat. 

I got a lot of disclaimer from the nurse about the side effects of clomid, risk of ectopic pregnancy, and how to handle my cycles. 

This really stinks. Our next real option is ivf. CCRM gave us a 70+% chance of it working the first time. So we feel really confidant in those odds, if we ever get the resources to do so.

I just want to be a mother. 

I just want a babe, a son or daughter of my own. 


And so it begins. . I should be ovulating in the next 5 days.... I have officially NOT been taking a break... Ugggh. Why do I ever make decisions?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Book: God's Fertility Clinic

I'm borrowing this book from my RESOLVE support group leader. The last infertile who read it has fallen pregnant with twins. It's worth a shot. 

I'll keep you all updated

God's Fertility Clinic by Jean Warner

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The New Year brought us

What was I thinking? 

My 25 day cycle just officially ended a week early... Clots & Cramps. 

I was convinced that this was implantation bleeding and the new year was going to bring us a child.

The cramps hurt so bad.... Why?

Happy New Year!! 

Edit::: January 1, 2014 8:56EST
FIGURED OUT WHY THOSE CRAMPS HURT SO BAD.... I had really bad diarrhea... Good thing I was spending the night at our friends apt with no air vents, the loudest toilet ever and sound amplifying walls. Really 2014, diarrhea?