Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The More We Have the More We DONT have kids

When you're young you have so many things to look forward to like getting married, owning a home, getting your bachelor's degree, starting a family. You literally spend your entire life working and building yourself for the next accomplishment.

I have my bachelor's degree
I have my full-time career
I am married
I own a home
 and now I'm stuck.

I'm stuck between never giving up hope and trying again.

At least when you have a child you can look forward to their next milestone, talking, walking, getting them to school, showing them the world, watching them overcome fears, their first date, Prom, college acceptance letters.

When you don't. When you're only trying to conceive your first child. You only have the hope of that conception and begging all of the universe to give you your deepest wish.
Looks Like a CD1 temp if I ever saw one so consistent.

When you return home from work, you prepare dinner for yourself, let your dogs outside. Read. Study. Go to bed and cry along side your husband for the days worth of reminders of what we can not have.

You question buying a 4 bedroom home with 3.5bathrooms, medium sized back yard in a neighborhood across the street from a very sought after elementary school.

I just want to not care and look the other way.

But how can you let go of something you have been waiting for your entire life? The bachelor's degree, the marriage, the house, the full-time job is ALL for our future children. Now what we have all of those things the LACK of children in our life is painstakingly apparent.

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