Saturday, May 10, 2014

I Will Be a Great Mother

Mother's Day may be the absolute WORST day of the year followed closely by Fathers day and then comes Christmas & my birthday tied for third. I hate FACEBOOK on mothers day. I hate parks. I hate my mother friends. I hate everyone and everything on mothers day. 

To help myself feel better here's why I will be a BETTER mother than anyone who never really had to try to have everything I have ever wanted. Literally ever wanted. Children have been my only shining goal since I learned I could have them. But I digress;




"There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. 

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. 

 I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. 

 My dream will be crying for me. 

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. 

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. 

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother."

 - Unknown Author

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