Sunday, May 11, 2014

Well, that was the worst Mother's Day ever.

 My husband, though involved, is completely oblivious to what I want or need. 

"He's not a mind reader" 
- awe, that's cute. I tell him exactly what I want out of everything and he still acts like he has no clue. I feel hopelessly stranded in a marriage that bares no fruit. A card on Mother's Day? a hand written letter on one of the hardest days of the year because he knows how much hand written notes mean to me. No, to suffer through this day we get breakfast (ignoring that it's Mother's Day and the Resturant will be filled with families) and a movie (ignoring that the theater will also be full of families). He put 
Zero premeditated thought in today and it breaks my heart. He could have googled what to do. He could have spent 30 minutes making a plan but instead he spent two weeks home from work expecting me to save the world as he played video games, watching tv, and slept in. Two entire weeks of opportunity to think of something nice to do for/with me and he couldn't take the 10 minutes out of the day to do so. 

After the movie on the way home I asked him why he didn't do anything for me today.

(Enter temper tantrum from him here)

He tells me that he asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day and I told him not to worry about planning a day for Mothers Day. 

Not planning a day doesn't mean you can't get me a card or a hand written sentiment to aknowlege what the day means to us where we are now. 

It doesn't mean you loaf around take me out in public as we are annoyed by how many parents loom around us with their spawn. 

A necklace, a bracelet, a card, earrings, a drawing, a toy for the dogs, paint for a room, a kitchen aid accessory finishing a chore all these things would have worked. Instead he did, planned, gave nothing. All I wanted was something pre-planned. Something other than "what do you want to do today? What do you want to do today? What do you want to do today? Fine, if you don't have any ideas lets just do what is exclusively fun for me like playing video games until you think of something" 

So after the movie and his temper tantrum he takes my car to his parents an hour away so I'm left at home alone with my dogs on Mother's Day. Why didn't I take his car and go out? 1) it's Mother's Day and I can't brave the world of what I can't be after being emotionally rattled 2) I can't drive a stick. I HATE it when he takes my car. I HATE being stranded home. I HATE being alone on holidays I wanted to spend with my own family. I HATE that I'm made to spend Mother's Day alone in my thoughts.

I call my mom and she tells me all about my siblings being down and the great food she has cooked. I can't help but feel homesick for my parents. We spent all of our holidays since the wedding with his family and every one of them has sucked! He has one sibling he hardly talks to, the food isn't great, the conversation bore me to tears and I yern to hang around my family. 

When he finally comes home several hours later. We chat, make up, and head over to the bar. I drink like a champ because AF is in town guaranteeing that we won't get pregnant before my birthday since we aren't allowed to have sex until next cycle. We go home. And I immediately chart the quickest route to my bed and pass out. 

Happy Mothers Day!

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