Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Back of the Shirt
In light of my early testing and blatant BFN, I started a bonfire fund today. I really wanted a lucky shirt to wear to my future IVF treatments and ultrasound appointments if we are to be so luck to get the opportunity to conceive a child.

I designed the shirt this way because I always wanted to raise awareness for infertility without it feeling overt. The front of the shirt reads "Lucky Shirt" and the back of the shirt says "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I thought it was a nice way to secretly hug my infertile sisters and brothers still secretive about their infertility journey and everyone else who is suffering silently with their own hidden diseases.

Front of the Shirt
It's a fun shirt to easily wear around town, at appointments, to the in laws, doing yard work, for the duration of the TWW. Would make an AWESOME gift for a friend you know who will be pursuing infertility treatments soon, who will be undergoing surgery soon, or anyone who is about to do something very hard and scary.

Please share this on your social media and to your family and friends. We can use all the support we can get!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Irritated 5dpo Rant

These progesterone supplements make me so irritable. Or maybe it's my husband.

Three women at my church, sahms just gave birth within the last two months. And now there's a "postpartum depression support group need." 

1) being a sahm increases the risk for depression post partum. 

2) where are the support groups for people with chronic depression? I know at least four families who struggle there

3) where are the support groups for people with problems with fertility? I know at least five families stuck in the depression loop of will we ever have kids/another child?

I can't help to feel like certain people get church wide support especially if they suffer amongst the other elite while others are left to silently reach out to one another in the dark, feeling ashamed feeling neglected. I just hate it right now. What about these other families? We just had baby showers, listened to you talk about how excited you were for baby, meals delivered all because you conceived animal planet style and had another baby what more attention do you need? Have your baby, stay at home and leave me alone.  

Other families have needs. Other families have problems, chronic problems and they need support.  

I just feel so angry right now. So many families I met are suffering, so many couples go to bed crying but who gets a support group are the post-pregnants. 

5dpo and I'm bloated, I'm irritable, my husband drives me up the wall. I want this TWW to be over so I can either be pregnant or move on with my pathetic excuse for a life. 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Yes! One For the Home Team

I am the proud bearer of two fat follicles! My right ovary is housing the largest one so this iui is on!! I will be triggering on Wednesday and our IUI will be Friday!!! I'm so excited! Also, my gardenia started producing blooms! After trying to die on me only a couple weeks ago I woke up today to find that she was pushing out flower buds. What a perfet day! 

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Follicle Check tomorrow

I have so much hope in this cycle, ladies it's getting to be ridiculous. For starters, tomorrow is my first follicle check of the cycle. Praying for right side ovulation so we can actually do an iui this month. I usually ovulate from my right side so since left side dominated last cycle I'm stoked! 

I've been analyzing my day three E2 results and trying to rekindle hope in my fertility in general. 

It seems like my E2 numbers have been on a steady decline since I started working out more frequently, eating better, and taking myo-inositol. 

Yesssss maybe a baby will come into our lives.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

IUI #3 round two!

Started our third iui cycle, again. 

My cycle started My cd4 estrogen was great at 40pg/mL! Now I'm on letrozol taking it between 6:00pm and 6:20pm waiting for my follicle check on Tuesday.